Sinner's Rhapsody

Fool's Paradise

2010-05-14T07:02:00.000-07:00

When Summer came
It promised
The love of an Angel
One so Divine

With outstretched arms
I embraced the Pslams
With little thought that Winter
Was just trailing behind

俳句

2010-05-05T19:11:00.000-07:00

My very 1st attempt in a Japanese Haiku. I hope it's not too shabby.

その涙
忘れませんの愛
はっきり見ます

Life is Like...

2010-03-04T18:00:00.000-08:00

Life is like
Punching bubble wrap
Before long
The fun is gone
Leaving a
Airless
Useless
Non-biodegradeble
Waste

Inspiration

2009-09-02T07:39:00.000-07:00

After putting up the post on my grandmother. It started pouring out of nowhere. Perhaps it was grandma giving me inspiration.

Inspiration

The resounding madness
Came upon me
Like the sudden
Splinters of rain

Piercing my
Cold Skin

And stopped.

Whilst

I sat

And

Bled.

My Grandmother

2009-09-02T07:28:00.000-07:00

My loving grandmother whom passed away this April. I love you grandma.

Long Absence

2009-08-17T05:57:00.000-07:00

It's been quite some time since I turned up any poems. We I guess I'll have to make do with some photography instead.

This the one of the very 1st photos I've taken with me brand new Canon 40D in August 2008.

The next few photos are just random.

Next is my very first attempt at HDR.

That's all for today folks..

Cupid's Lie

2009-04-24T06:18:00.000-07:00

It was a mistake
To believe the
Words of Cupid

He promised
Days lingering
Between the
Black and White

Keys

Filled with
Music
And

Love

Nights of
Silent whispering
Quiet giggling

The sweet scent
Of honey and butter
In your hair

Your skin
Like warm marble
Yet
Soft and supple

Laying against
My chest
In reticent
Submission

Counting stars
While listening
To shy Crickets
Sing a song of
Adulation

To shower thee
All my love
And Affection

But you

Like a sweet
Latte with
A bitter aftertaste

Left me with
Memories

That can never
Be forgotten

The cold farewell
Against the shattered
Mirror
And my shattered heart

I see pieces
Of luscious red
From mourning Blood

And then darkness
Slumbering in
Cold summer's night

I found solitude
In the arms
Of malevolent
Mephistopheles

Haiku.. again?

2009-03-17T17:10:00.000-07:00

It is the season for haikus.... and I don't know why...

It is a great sin
Not knowing love and be loved
One is not worthy

Untitled Haiku

2009-03-07T01:56:00.000-08:00

Lost in foreign words
Myriad Of Unknown Faces
Me in My Country

Intelligent Design Vs. Science Vs. Me??

2008-10-17T05:32:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: I know this will cause a lot of controversy. But this discussion is purely scholastic and I do not intend any blasphemy towards any religion. I respect other religions and personal views and I hope that my personal views would be respected as well.

Before I start, for those unfamilliar with the concept of Intelligent Design and the concept that God created everything, please refer to these two websites:
http://www.comereason.org/exst_god/exs010.asp
http://www.godandscience.org/apologetics/who_created_god.html

Now, let’s get started.

In summary, those in favour of Intelligent Design purport the view that God created the Universe since all complex things must be created by intelligent beings.
People in favour of science argue that since God created all things, then God being a even more complex being must be created by something more intelligent. I felt that same when I first heard of Intelligent Design. To me, if Intelligent Design is true, then surely God would have began somewhere, secondary to another creator? Of course one might argue that God is eternal and does not have a begining nor an end. If quoting the Holy Bible, God once said I'm the Alpha and the Omega in the Book of Revelations, which means that he is the beginning and the end. Doesn't that imply that God had a beginning in Christian context?

This is also where scholars of Intelligent Design argue that God exist beyond time, since time is an essential factor for cause and effect, God is exempted from this rule.

Maybe we're talking about some almighty being, not just God bound by Christian context. Then this almighty being would have existed beyond time and space, and has always been here. Can't we use the exact resoning and apply it to the universe? Not just the observed universe that we see. But beyond the edge of the observable universe where time and space do not apply any more and matter has not expanded into. What we could see is so little, hence if would could postulate the existence of God with traverse time and space, we can also postulate a larger universe encompassing the observable universe which has always existed and will never end. This however would only argue for a universe that always existed with nothing. A universe with just nothing, no intelligence, no space and time, cannot just create all this observerable matter and complex beings.

I do offer a philosophical explanation. As with the above-mentioned concept of a Universe that transversed space and time with nothing, something must exist. Because of the very concept of nothing, something is born. With the concept of simple, complex was created. We were born out of concept and nothing else. Should concept be likened to God, then God must be nothing more than a concept. Should the obeservable universe come to an end and return to nothingness and all concepts destroyed, then God would cease to exist.

A philosophical explanation might seem weak. I propose an alternate viewpoint, a religious viewpoint. Since God is a being beyond our comprehension, I propose a true God, a God so powerful that we completely cannot undersand Him and His ways. We do not understand if he is good or evil or what are His purposes. The God(s) that we believe in now are all veraded(“Verad” is new word to explain this entirely new concept of creation beyond space and time, which is something too complex for humans to comprehend, similar to the word God, which we gave to an Almighty Being beyond our comprehension) by Him for whichever purposes, I do not understand. And we in turn are create by these (lesser) God(s). What prove do I have? I have none, since the existence of God cannot be proven emphirically with current technology anyway. What I offer is a CONCEPT that the God that I believe in is the True root to everything as do other religions offer the CONCEPT that their God exist beyond time and hence created time and not bound to time.

We seem to come back to the point where we are offering CONCEPTs to thing we cannot prove emphirically. So are concepts the root to everything? Or are all thing create by a being beyond our comprehension? What is science then? What about evolution?

Well I guess that’s all for today. I’m drained. Once again, I must stress that I meant no offense to any religion. What I offer is a personal viewpoint that may be different to you, if you disagree, do leave contructive arguments to disprove of my ideas, please do not flame my blog just because you are so narrow-minded and are unable to accept viewpoints of others.

Seasons

2008-06-17T20:16:00.000-07:00

Summer is her love
And Autumn is her dainty smile
Yet Winter

Winter is her cold stares that
Apaces to
Everlasting spring

I remember

2008-06-17T08:49:00.000-07:00

I remember
The days
That we were together

We never held hands
Nor hugged each other
Never kissed
Or embraced

But we carried our pain
With our palms
And fought loneliness
With our smile

I could still remember

We were happy

Together

That’s what we were

Can’t You See?

2008-02-17T04:26:00.000-08:00

Can’t you see
That which is broken
Yet beats to your
Pulse

Can’t you see
That which is blinded
But still sees your
Smile

Can’t you see
The string that binds us
Cannot be
Renounced

Can’t you see
Us…
Together

But no

You cannot see

The BEST deal in the world comes FREE

2008-01-27T04:59:00.001-08:00

Free samples
Of Sn*ckers
And Muchy Bars

Freedom
Of Speech
And Thoughts

…and also…

Free truckloads
Of warheads
And 38mm bullets
(to be used on you of course)

Free use
Of your resources
And Crude Oil

Free disposal
Of your dead bodies
And ex-Dictator

And with all the things
That are free
You pay with your lives
And freedom to choose
Your Dictator of choice

Lady Sleep

2007-05-17T18:07:00.000-07:00

Although I said I won't have anymore updates until I get the skin revamped, here's a new post. I had a couple cans of beer, low lighting, good romantic oldies playing on my 5.1 speakers, and I just can't help but write something.

Lady Sleep

Sleep is like a dream
She gently grazes you
And leaves a scar
In the morning

I see you in the sunset
Your fingers
Trailing Off your
Auburn hair

She would kiss you
Comfort you
Leaving an overwhelming
Sense of serenity

While you held my hand
Close to your heart
Humming our
Favourite tunes

I could almost feel
Your warmth
Until Lady Sleep
Slipped away from me

…again.

I Cried

2007-04-29T18:27:00.000-07:00

I popped an Ibruprofen half an hour ago because my sinus was aching. I then picked up a can of beer and started drinking. After I was halfway through the beer did it dawn upon me that I took an Ibruprofen earlier on. So I checked for interactions, and know what? I'll get acute renal failure from this lethal combination!!! And I finished my can of beer :D Fortunately, the renal failure is reversible. Then this poem was born within 30seconds. My thoughts flowed and my finger typed. A word of caution guys, this is totally random, so the stanzas or imagery/thoughts may not flow. Enjoy.

I Cried

Curses that travel
They lie of my fate
Can you live without a soul
Can you dance all alone

My eyes were telling
Me that you are lost
I watched so coldly
Like I once knew you
But you didn't care

I embrace this cynical truth
The barren land
Filled with naked riped
Bodies all mingled into
A ball of Sin

I tried hard to catch
the Dolphins swimming
In the river
But they slipped through

And I screamed
As if I'm giving
Birth without the joy
Then my ears

Hear

Your voice

Which said
"I Love you
No more"

Once again

I cried

Point??

2007-04-12T15:52:00.000-07:00

Point?

I flipped through
The boundless leafs

Reading and
ASSimilating
Verses that mean

NOTHING (highlight to see the hidden word)

I swept the stocks
Of breakfast cereals

Paying for the
Promises of Good Health
Which I'll never

INGEST

I gobbled up
The Banana too fast

I choked
Upon its seeds
That I never

SEE (you know what to do...)

Canon

2007-04-03T16:50:00.000-07:00

Canon

Your touch still lingers
Within this empty soul

This restless melody
Remembers your
Every single stroke
On the keyboard

I can still smell
The dust in this
Forgotten room

Your dust

That which flickers
Upon your now unkindly
Face provokes such
Undying Pain

I reach out
With love and
Reluctance

Only to hear your silence
And the beautiful notes of Pachelbel's Canon

Blood

2007-03-14T21:28:00.000-07:00

This new poem is completely random

Blood

Craven
Distorted
While I sit here
Staring blankly
At the murder scene

The scent of my blood
Sweet compelling
As It drifts through
My mind

The
Exuberance

The
Exultation

Whilst i pull the
Plug from her
Broken
Body

The

Most vivid

Most enticing

Red
I’ve ever seen

The limp corpse
Saw no agony
Only a surreal
Satisfaction

When i put
The plug
Through
Myself

Forgotten

2007-02-28T06:38:00.000-08:00

It's been some time since I last composed. Uni's been pretty hectic, and work was there to put on a load as well. Anyway, here goes the latest entry. It's some "leftover" inspiration from composing Winter's Soliloquy and some new ones. Wanted to name it the "Sound of Snow Falling" after a piece of music composed by Taku Iwasaki, but I thought "Forgotten" would be more appropriate. Anyway, comments pls :D

Forgotten

She sleeps with such innocence
That I almost forgot we’re out
In the cold streets

Where the fluffy candy-like snow
Dance to the tune of
A lonely lullaby

Her pale serene face masks
The wounds she haboured
From her most loved

The silence trembled
When she lifted her eyelids
With such effort

That at last
Her lashes could not
Bear the weight of the air

She slept as silently
As the sound of snow falling
In the arms of the King

Winter's Soliloquy and Redbox in UK

2007-01-13T17:24:00.001-08:00

Had a drinking plus singing fest tonight and inspiration dropped by, so here's Winter's Soliloquy as promised:

Winter's Soliloquy

Cold Wisps of snowflakes
Caressing me Lovingly
Seeps my Life away

And the following is Thomas' work 5 mins later after I finished the previous poem and explained to him what a Haiku was:

Redbox in UK

Myriads of vocals
resonate in the drunk air
Red Box in UK

He makes a great poet :D

(P.S. Winter's Soliloquy and Redbox In UK are our first Haiku(s), so please bear with us. And criticisms are welcomed)

Fall

2006-11-28T13:42:00.000-08:00

Fall

Cunningly the weathers
Turned upon me
Leaving me to embrace
The cold unfeeling night

In haste
I walked yonder
Chasing the seasons
That passed unknowing

Catching glimpses of
Of warmth
From a bard’s tale

There I lie
An indolent youth
Sinking in my pleasures

Bewitched I was
By the careless summer
As I counted the grass
And parried the butterflies

But whence the seasons pass
Unforgiving
Is the trails of deep cuts
That divides our skin

If You Are My Love

2006-11-06T20:33:00.000-08:00

If you are my Love

If you are my Love
The Sun will never shine
Nor the moon and stars

They would have dimmed
In your presence

The Autumn brings no wind
And the leaves no longer fall
The world shall be warm

The slow silence will never be broken
When our lips meet

I caress your long flowing hair
As your smile bring tears to
My eyes

You will be the sole redemption
To my sanity
The object of my vanity

My only strength and my only
Weakness

If only you are my Love
If you would be my Love
If you are my Love

I will be yours

Forever

Accompanied by the background music "If You Are My Love" composed by Yuki Kajiura

Pride

2006-09-26T14:51:00.000-07:00

A title I've been meaning to write about, but never got about to it. I don't know if it's good enough to express what it is meant to express. So, comments anyone?

Pride

As I trod down through this winding path
I once asked if the Sun doth shine and guide it
If I could look upon my sword with no disgrace
And she could only ask me to seek

To seek the peace between the oak trees
The standing honor of the wolves
The truths of a liar
The grace of a dying man

Wherefore lies the end of this burden
The weight of my heart
Nights where the old men sing
Tunes of unknown treachery

Chords of my soul clings to my spirit
They harden and fasten as one
Whilst I pull together the strength of all
And none

Claiming the throne to the Kingdom of disposition
Resting my palm on my own folly
Affirming all that I own and naught

I will be me

Magic of Love

2006-08-27T16:23:00.000-07:00

Magic of Love

The whispers of a lost
Soul. Seeks, to forget
The pain enduring.

When the thin sheet
Harboring the
Truth
Rips

The barren land meets
The calm unnerving sea

All is stagnant, the
Heart
In the gripes of Medusa
Aches eternally

Bellowing the charms of
The once enchanting
Melody

For memory
Is cruel to the honest spirit
And mislaid by the callous

Cheers to the heartless
Joys for the forgetful
For they shall be remembered
Honored
And forgiven
Everlastingly

Rain

2006-08-20T16:18:00.000-07:00

Rain

We once walked
In this cold summer
Night

Watching the pearls
Falling one by
One

I held your hand
As you held
Mine

While our voices
Trail off in
Memory

I still remember
The ravishing
Rain

That washed our
Tears in cynical
Vain

You looked up
And smiled to the
Heavens

Muttering a prayer
Under your misty
Breath

That if we
Had never been
Together

We would have
Been blessed
Forever

Truth

2006-08-14T14:36:00.000-07:00

Truth

I
The fool
Held on to
The Sword of Truth
Like a child to candy

And Strung it
As if Bowstring
Playing a long
Forgotten

Melody.

The birds sang
In motion with
The trees
Whilst Man
Went deaf

The Sword
Melted like candy
Cheated by the Devil’s
Child

Sinks into
The Oblivion
Consuming the Bow
With the hearts of
People once called

The Sons of God

Where the voice
Can never be heard

Again.

Shards of snow

2006-08-06T14:36:00.000-07:00

Shards of snow

Left over beer cans
And some burnt charred
Coals

A heart once
Ripped apart
And an empty
Soul

Resonate in
The cold winter
While mocking
And teasing

A regret of
A lifetime
A grief of
An Eternity

Replaying
That cold
Lingering
Heartfelt

Pain

That pierced
And stabbed

Like a beautiful
Winter
Raining Shards
Of Snow

A dream of
Love
Ending
Too soon

A Lament
Of unending
Woe

A sin
that can
never be
untold

Think

2006-07-28T04:49:00.000-07:00

The consequence of inconsequence is consequence

Untitled

2006-06-28T14:32:00.000-07:00

Untitled

She slips her mask
And bared her tusks
Grinning to herself

As she changed her face
And put on lace
She is someone else

Skipping the streets
Playing her cheats
She had gathered much wealth

When she died later
And met her Maker
She still went to Hell

Of Love and Lies

2006-05-29T04:45:00.000-07:00

Of Love and Lies

Recently an incident triggered me to ponder about the relationship between Spoken Love and True Lies. The incident that truly happened was as such:

A boy and a girl are in Love. Or at least they were.

They broke up one day, and the boy, who was unable to forget his love for the girl planned to win her love back. Little did he know that the girl was getting very friendly with this guy whom she knew from a club days after they broke up. During his preparation, he realized that the girl was getting on with some other guy but her persevered.

Finally, came the day where he presented his surprises romantically in a park.

She cried.

“I knew he’s the only one who loves me the most, and I still love him.” She wept and said.

And they were together again, for not many days. The boy realized that here was something strange going on. Her attitude changed when talking to him. She sounds irritated and impatient when she talks to him on the phone. Anxious on what is going on, the boy decided to investigate. To his horror, he found out that she was two-timing between him and the other guy she knew from a club. This other guy was a student studying overseas, whom had came back to his home country for summer holidays. Knowing that he wouldn’t stay here for long, the girl chose to two time, dating the other guy (who won’t be here for long) while keeping her original lover. Such an act of selfishness is abhorring.

As any boy would, he stood up to her and confronted the other guy. Sadly, he was humiliated by both the girl and the other guy. “You are history!!” was what the other guy taunted. However, due to his love for her, he kept this story to himself, in order to protect the girl’s honor. He only confided in a few of his best friends the truth behind all these happenings.

Unfortunately, this story does not only end here. Another version of his story began floating amongst friends. She proudly told her version of the story which was cut short all the way to the beginning, and the boy was blame of not being a gentleman when it comes to a breakup. He was accused of not wanting to have a clean break at the relationship and he was indicted to be bugging her and not letting her go even though she was already with another guy. This is such a blatant lie which she told so proudly of. The truth is many people knew that she had a budding relationship with the other guy when she was still with her boyfriend.

The poor guy never knew about this, and the situation took another turn. The girl had a fight with her new found interest. She called up the boy and confided in him. She said once again that she knew he’s the only one who loves her the most, and she still loves him. The silly boy was so very touched and happy that his lost love came back to him. Yes, he is silly. And the girl? The most selfish and multi-faceted person I have ever seen.

The boy began calling her up again but for the next few days, he realized the same thing happening once more. She gets irritated and impatient with his calls. Finally, she fell short of her tempered and said, “Please don’t make me hang up on you”. Finally realizing that he was just being a fool, the boy gave up, but still keeping the truth to himself.

This story should have ended here, and the events forgotten. Alas, more stories of another version circulate saying that the boy is thoroughly un-gentlemanly, stating that he still call to bug her after so many months after breaking up. It makes one wonder, how can anyone tell such blatant, selfish and inconsiderate lies. It was her wrong-doing from the start, yet she shifts the blame completely onto the boy, while she appears to be the victim. How can somebody, just because of her own interest, be so evil hurting the very person who tried to protect her even when she had hurt him more than once?

Not only her ex-boyfriend did she betray, her close friends were also victims to her continual lies. She’s also known to be friendly to people (people whom she claims to be friends especially) on pretence, while backstabbing them on the other hand. I have known several of such cases personally. One of them being an incident where there is to be a performance of sorts. This girl was not happy that her boyfriend had to carry other girls due to a shortage of manpower. She was adamant that her boyfriend could and should only touch her and no other girls. Hence the person overall in-charged had a little disagreement with her, but in the end, the person in-charge gave in. Throughout the performance, her boyfriend only touched her. However, she still went about bad-mouthing the person in-charge who happens to be a close friend of hers then. She never understood that there was a shortage of manpower and that her little wimps of over-possession were just getting in everyone’s way. And yet, she puts the blame upon others acting as though she was the victim of other people’s devices. What was the result of these un-thoughtful acts? Many friends were hurt and till date, the boy still kept quiet while the girl still kept spreading lies. Yes, she still breeds these untruths while acting as a victim.

This story really prompted me to think about what is Love? Is it just the spoken word like the girl said? Or a sacrifice the boy made?

Also, what are Lies? Are lies something to be told as truths like what the girl did? Or are the real truths meant to be kept unspoken?

What is friendship? A frivolous term to explain unilateral dependence and endless backstabbing?

Can a person like this girl be trusted ever, when one can’t even trust the Love that she spoke of? She acts innocently and uses it to her advantage not only to betray many of her close friends, but also the person whom she claims to love. Such a liar must not be trusted lest harm befall upon oneself.

It’s hard to believe that such people with this much selfishness and evil exists while they are actually proud of their treachery. They make Hitler look puny on the scale of evil. At least Hitler loved and protected Eva. I cannot imagine if the human race degrades to this level. We will surely perish.

May God protect us from these evils.

Here’s a little poem inspired by this story:

Of Love and Lies

Kissing the lips of my Lover
The taste of caramel
A tub too much
That it’s bittersweet

Watching the lips of a Liar
The magic it plays
To blind men
From truth complete

Trust in the lips
Of my Lying Lover
Praising about my Love
And bitching of my Lies

Touching the Lips
Of my discordant Ivy
Kissing me
Killing me

Kissing me…
Killing me…

Fantasy

2006-04-25T20:32:00.000-07:00

Fantasy

Little girl, little girl
Come hither
Gullible little girl

Let me tell you of a story
Of Flowers and Bees
Where Fairies and Angels
Dance with Kings and Queens
A world of love and joy
In an endless spring

Will you listen to this story?
Which I once believed
And filled my beautiful nights
In this world of cynical truths

May you find comfort
In my self-inflicted fantasy
And may you find what I’ve not found
In this world of pretence and mendacity

Another random inspiration

2006-02-09T07:05:00.000-08:00

Just another random inspiration. Exams is round the corner with tons of reports, so the next post might take some time to come. Stay tuned ;)

Untitled

In white
I see her
Grasping for my hand
Cold

Eye stares
As she laughs
Mocking my foolish
Sins

My sins
Kept haunting
Whilst I reach out for
Help

None came
I realized that
I’ve no alibi
Guilt

Leeching
Through my soul
Exulting a pleased
Tune

All these
Affliction
Is mine to keep for
Life

Random

2006-01-08T23:39:00.001-08:00

Just a random inspiration.

Untitled

Distant past
A memory fading
Grueling stench
Of sweet foreboding

There she stands
Sword in hand
Spilling my blood
Defiling my heart

It was in memory
Where I lay
Defenseless
Against my own sins

Then again
I see her sweeping
My lonely grave
And then weeping
Like a little knave

Have I heard her sing?
This bitter melody before
“The most beautiful love
Is a love in lore”

Fool’s Bargain

2005-11-15T15:41:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, human nature is so sick don't you think so?

Fool’s Bargain

Tentative thoughts
A Beginners’ ploy
Uncertain chords
Praising the wits of Troy

A charming façade
Fit for cards
A Likeable lie
Of Washington’s George

Ridiculous rounds
On baseless grounds
Licking the arse
Of George the Sparse

Where lies the truth
Behind de facto fool
A bargain too good
To hold it true

Untitled+Update

2005-10-03T06:59:00.000-07:00

Well, this blog is not dead yet. So am I. Exmas been around and it kills nothing but creativity, inspiration and billions of neurons. This is just a new poem. It's nothing much just some random thoughts...

Untitled

Tangible light
Intangible night

As the Angels pass
Songs of prayer
Songs of mourn

Seeping through
The window
Placating
The crying widow

His voice echoes
The forfeit
Of a phoenix
Claiming eternal love

Her heart wrenches
Her foul existence
Hate defiling her soul

Tangible night
Intangible light

IMU Art Competition - "Colours of Life"

2005-07-24T22:18:00.000-07:00

Just a little poem here which I intent to send in for the upcoming IMU Art competetion for poetry (If there's still a section on poetry). The theme, "Colours Of Life" (They never come up with anything interesting, it's always boring cliche topics. Last year's theme was "Metamorphorsis", so you should get the drift) It's nothing much, just random images in my boring life (some are even imagined). So hang on there, don't fall asleep.

Life

A pinch of
Salt
Rubbing on a sore wound

My grandma’s charcoaled
Teeth
Brimming a smile
More radiant than the
Summer’s sunset

Streaks of bleached
Meteors
Christened through
The pitch darkness

The swing of a chestnut
Bat
A lightning homerun
A thousand cheers

The tears glistening
From sad swollen
Eyes
The pale face of
Rejection

The throbbing of a
Heart
Rejoiced
Blushing through the cerulean
Tenderness

The smells of royal
Lavenders
The sweetness of tanned
Honey

A painting in the azure
Sky
A portrait in my likeness
The jade-like lucid
Dream
Of lilies and of bees

Clasped within the verdant
Leaves
A cocoon
Of flying kaleidoscope
An untrodden life
Yet to be stung by the salt
Yet to savor the honey

Some old rantings

2005-07-23T04:11:00.000-07:00

If anyone have watched the anime "Neon Genesis Evangelion" by Gainax Studios one might have come across this idea in the last two episodes, that is we, humans, are defined by others. In everyone who knows me, I leave a unique presence in their memory, in their heart. For example, for a friend whom I do not know very well, I know that he/she as a kind-hearted lovely person. Little do I know that that is a facade in front of me. When being with people whom he/she is close to, they may appear differently. But within my heart, I'll always know that person as that unless I gain a different perspective. All I know is that at least for now, that is my truth. And with that, I define others, in my own terms as do others define me.

Let's than take this a little further; is ones existence defined by others? Like a tree that fell in the middle of a forest, but no one or animal is there to hear or see it. Did the fallen tree produce a sound? Does the sound exist? If one day, I wake up and realise that people completely ignore my existence, do I exist?

However, the answer to all these questions are simple. I once read a qoute from the French philosopher, Rene Decartes saying "I think therefore I am". Strangely, such a seemingly simple arguement, is what that defines complicated beings like us. The very fact that we are capable of thought guides and defines us, it gives our emotions a shape, our personality a form. Hence we're all guided by this simple rule and live in this hustle bustle world. Although our very thoughts define ourselves, how many of us out there really understand and know our thoughts well enough to actually know ourselves?

Ideals

2005-06-20T10:22:00.000-07:00

I'm a little drunk, a little crazy...

Ideals

The window is
Calling
So daunting

The rain is
Dancing
With such grace

The world is
Dying
In our pitiful embrace

I looked through
The window
A world of its own

The waltzing rain
Kissing pecks on
My cheeks

I spun in
A child-like
Merry-go-round

Watching the
Castles tumbling down
From the heavenly clouds

The window closed
The rain stopped
The world died

Footprints

2005-06-14T07:07:00.000-07:00

Footprints

Trudging through
The bitter snow
There’s a little solitude
A little cold

I see you there
Beckoning and pleading
For a little company
A little heat

Like the meteor
That taints the sky
I give you a little wonder
A little delight

In this chilly grotto
I watch your eyes
There’s a little fire
A little light

Whence the cock crows
You have to leave
There’s a little sorrow
A little grief

Once again I trudge
Through the bitter snow
Leaving a little footprints
A little footprints
That would soon turn cold

お姫さま：俺わ君よ絶対守る

2005-05-30T11:24:00.000-07:00

お姫さま：俺わ君よ絶対守る
　　　　　　永久に絶対守る

Fool

2005-05-28T07:30:00.000-07:00

Fool

Prancing through
The woods
A foolish doe
I was

A window of
Trees and branches
An exquisite butterfly
Was caught

Free it
Did I
And to the lovely lake
It flew

I turned my head
In jubilee
While the flying rainbow
Become amphibian food

In my careless
Wonder joy
I skipped and hopped
In honest lie

And little
Did I know
That I caught
The hunter’s eye

Sometimes, the purest and kindest of intent can result in the worse outcome.

Lonely Latté

2005-05-14T06:23:00.000-07:00

Lonely Latté

A mild fragrance
A bitter presence

Alone in this Café
Sipping
My lonely Latté

Three spoonfuls
Of brown sugar
Two couples
Passing by

One cup
Of Latté
In this empty Café

The coffee is still bitter
And it’s turning sour

多情却被无情恼

2005-05-11T00:03:00.000-07:00

一向很欣賞苏轼的我今天翻了翻他的词选。這首詞帶有諷刺之意。人總是死心眼﹐自尋煩惱。

蝶恋花

花褪残红青杏小。
燕子飞时，绿水人家绕。
枝上柳绵吹又少，天涯何处无芳草！

墙里秋千墙外道。
墙外行人，墙里佳人笑。
笑渐不闻声渐悄，多情却被无情恼。
~苏轼

倘若不想要煩惱﹐就不要去惹禍根。周傳雄有一首歌叫做<忘記>裡頭就提到這一點。

忘記

作詞：林夕　作曲：周傳雄　編曲：劉志遠
有太多往事就別喝下太少酒精　
太珍惜生命就別隨便掏心
捨不得看破就別張開眼睛　
想開心就要捨得傷心
有太多行李就別單獨旅行　
不能夠離開就不要接近
捨不得結束就別開始一段感情　
想忘記就要一切歸零
不能夠忘記愛情忘記伴侶忘了孤寂　也至少忘記當初為何在一起
到最後忘記眼神忘記臉龐忘記身體　怕只怕我們　忘了決心忘記
不能夠忘記愛情忘記伴侶忘了孤寂　就試著忘記什麼叫做回憶
到最後忘記呼吸忘記心跳忘了身體　愛過誰的心　又有什麼關係

做人如果害怕受傷害就應該安分一點﹐要不然就要拿得起﹐放得下。做人真的好難。

一個人生活

2005-05-10T07:34:00.000-07:00

今天聽了林凡的歌<一個人生活>薄有感觸。這首歌的詞很有意思﹐很是動人。雖然今天沒有酒﹐我卻醉了。正所謂﹕酒不醉人﹐人自醉。就在這一秒我沉醉于一個人的孤單﹐一個人的悲哀﹐一個人的啞劇。

一個人生活
作詞：孫維君　作曲：凌偉文
葉子在窗外輕輕搖動　人行道沒有行人走過
鏡子裡的我很不像我　自從你離開了我變得很軟弱　
你的影子在每一個角落好像是在提醒著我　
少了你的陪伴我現在有多寂寞
我想我可以習慣一個人生活　我想我可以假裝不曾愛過
冰涼的夜裡讓眼淚溫熱我
感覺如果要走誰能說No
我想我可以習慣一個人生活　在記憶裡面擦去你的承諾
愛你怎麼會是這個結果
愛情是個夢而我睡過頭

Sorry Van, I feel chinese today. Another time perhaps.

Relections

2005-05-02T08:07:00.000-07:00

Been tough getting inspirations these days. Luckily for tonight, I've been dipping into Daddy's alcohol cellar. Had 2 shots of Barcadi and 3 shots of Vodka. Sets me thinking about my own existence. Is my existence justified? Am I real? This poem is crap stuff, I think. Was a little tipsy when writing this. No buzz(I never get one, I wonder why), and for those who know my alcohol problem, no hangover yet(geez wasted Daddy's alcohol again).

Reflection

I see who is not myself
A mere reflection
Drunkard
Stubborn
Sinner

I dream who is not myself
A mirror of my wishes
Sorcerer
Knight
Lover

I seek who is not myself
A figure of my father
Mature
Harsh
Stern

I am who is not myself
A reflection in my likeness
Watcher
Dreamer
Seeker

Regret?

2005-04-21T05:19:00.000-07:00

Since my slave (Van) is bugging for an update and I don't have any inspirations to write poems lately, I shall post an old one up. This poem is a self-prophecy I wrote in Semester 2 last year. Two thirds of the prophecy came true, we'll see if it will hold true in the future...

Regret?

Darkness spent,
I see her eyes
Searching my soul
Deception and lies

Love me?
Me.
Lost chasing Prometheus’ err

Hate relent,
I see her tears
Taunting my sins
Flaunting my fears

Love her?
Her?
The only constant in this world

Love ends,
I see her heart
Bleeding, sobbing, pleading
Searching for what used to be

Love?
Aye, sweet love.
Is what use to be but cannot be

Lady In White

2005-04-10T09:07:00.000-07:00

This entry is dedicated to my ravishing ball partner Say Wae. Because of my vocal incompetence, I was not able to express to her how beautiful she was yesterday. Therefore I decided to give her due justice in an exchange of words. It’s nothing much, but I hope to let her know how honored I am to be her partner. Here’s a little poem for her, I hope it’s not too embarrassing.

White

Deftly pallid
In tranquil innocence
A ruddy lady
A pale verdance

Gently
Her tracks trails
Of dreamy fragrance

Daintily
Her smile entails
A heavenly presence

Dare I praise thee?
For words are incompetent
Dare I glimpse at thee?
And not be love stricken

Can it be Gaia’s gift?
Or perhaps my life’s forfeit?
To gaze at Venus’ guise
And still seemingly survive

And lastly, this song by Eric Clapton is for her, for she was the most beautiful last night. I place this song as the background music for this page. Enjoy!

Wonderful Tonight

It's late in the evening
She's wondering what clothes to wear
She puts on her make up
And brushes her long blonde hair
And then she asks me
Do I look alright
And I say yes, you look wonderful tonight

We go a party
And everyone turns to see
This beautiful lady
That's walking around with me
And then she asks me
Do you feel alright
And I say yes, I feel wonderful tonight

I feel wonderful
Because I see the love light in your eyes
And the wonder of it all
Is that you just don't realize
How much I love you

It's time to go home now
And I've got an aching head
So I give her the car keys
She helps me to bed
And then I tell her
As I turn out the light
I say my darling, you were wonderful tonight
Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight
~Eric Clapton

*All the words used are for artistic articulation and do not mean anything deeper than good friendship. If any reader choose to interpret otherwise, you can continue speculating, I reassure you that you’ll be terribly disappointed ;P

Moth

2005-04-08T08:26:00.000-07:00

A new peom inspired by an anime Tenjo Tenge. This theme is commonly explored but I still wanna have a go at it.

Moth

Twas’ a light in the dark
A glittering
A seeming warmth

Flashes of a lusty parade
Of shining blades
In many shades

Red and orange
How they dance
Flowing and spinning
In a luring trance

Flutter my wings
As I sway to the beat
I can hear them sing
Oh! What passionate heat

A strange charm lies within this light
My body cringe
My heart takes flight

Too tempting is this novel glee
That my life’s burning
Yet my soul can’t flee

Fear

2005-04-08T07:45:00.000-07:00

As promised, this is my post on my theory on "fear". More accurately, I would call it the "Basic principles of human emotions". I was inpired by "Neon Genesis Evangelion" to come out with this theory. I believe that all human emotions stem from fear, and I call fear a fundemental emotion. This emotion drove the human race thus far, and I believe it will be the death of human race as well.

As we know, fear is an emotion of self preservation, of selfishness, of self-interest. Hence we can easily conclude that it is a basic fundemental emotion that humans have for it is within our nature to protect ourselves. Then how is it linked to other emotions? How are the other emotions based on fear?

Let’s take for example the emotion of jealousy. Its man’s desire of what that belongs to others. Firstly the man has to feel a fear, a fear of not having what other people have, of not possessing the best. This fear drives him to crave, to yearn for what is not his, even up to a point where other emotions such as hate is involved. This is called jealousy.

We now investigate into greed. Greed is the feeling of inadequacy, the need to have more and better of something. Similar, fear of not having enough for oneself drives this emotion.

Most of the negative emotions can be explained in a similar way as of the two above-mentioned examples.

We shall now look into positive emotions. Love is one of the strongest positive emotions. It brings about care and self-sacrifice. But love is still fear driven. The fear of being alone compels a man to love another, to protect her, to care for her, even to give up his life for her. It makes one willing to give up many things just for company. If a person sacrifice his life to save another, who would suffer more? The person, who sacrificed, is just dead. The person who is saved has to face the consequence of guilt. (Guilt is fear driven as well as it is the fear of retribution. This emotion is not very well thought though; I’ll have to KIV first)

Other emotions are simply a composite of two or more emotion of which all stems from fear. Hope is one such emotion where it is the penultimate of fear and love (Mike has a hand in this part of the theory too).

Although this theory is not perfected and there are many creases to be ironed out, this is as much as I have thought for now. Mike seems to believe that fear and love are both fundamental emotions, but that is a debate I would like to reserve for the future in case we get too bored, we still have something to argue about.

I don't wanna dance

2005-03-24T02:06:00.000-08:00

This is a new poem I wrote, inspired by my dear friend, Yoke Peng. She is a very nice girl who has gone through a lot recently. This poem is not for her, but for the weakness of mankind. We all try to justify ourselves and play "nice guy" and avoid the true point of things.

I don’t wanna dance

I don’t wanna dance
It’s not that I can’t
It’s not you either
But the clothes that you wear
And you carry an air
No! It’s not you
It’s the lights and blaring sounds

It’s not that I can’t
But I just don’t wanna dance

With you

Lovey Dovey

2005-03-22T23:50:00.000-08:00

As I said before, my peoms are getting lovey dovey of late. It has just got worse. I wrote this new poem out of frustration. The poem is short and meaning turns out to be quite good, but it's still lovey dovey. Sigh~ this is so not me...

Untitled

Incessant Love
Opulent, Vehement Emotions
Sings
A Yearning Warmth
And Ends

第一次

2005-03-22T02:58:00.000-08:00

這是我第一次以華文寫blog。昨晚是淒美的一晚。有雨﹐有痛﹐有悲哀﹐還有朋友的關懷。人生至此無怨無哀矣﹗我的華文程度不算佳﹐沒辦法寫出好詩﹐所以在此與大家分享藤井樹的佳詩。
此詩是我的心情﹐是我的主題也是我的宿命。

之間

一個男孩，一個女孩
若相遇是應該，是否有緣分相愛
一個有心，一個無心
若付出是唯一，是否有真心回應
怕的是緣淺，把握得了現在，卻讓未來染了塵埃
這就是愛情，不在乎的很多
最後卻是不在乎傷了自己
人有多慷慨，神昏昏看著對方走來
你把心掏開，直到最後一片空白
人有多悲哀，眼睜睜看著對方離開
你改變心態，直到你心淌出血來
依然給的精采，依然要不到愛
~藤井樹

有人說我太多愁善感。那有人說的沒錯。

Sins

2005-03-21T00:18:00.000-08:00

Back to the topic of sins again... I'm a sinner, I never denied the fact. I'm a person beyond redemption. But I can never understand why am I born a sinner? I never asked to be born, and now that I'm born, I know that I have to go to Hell... Doesn't sound that appealing does it? If being alive means to sin, to suffer and to die and subsequently burn in Hell, I rather not... But this is provided that the Christians or any other religion that believe in the Almighty God are right. So basically, I can sum up that, the worse thing I've did was being born into this world. Or maybe that's the worse thing my parents ever did, that is to give birth to me. So to end sin in this world, we should all stop giving birth?

Here's a poem I wrote quite some time ago about sins, and the inneccesities to blaming yourself...

Fanatic

"Sinned, I have sinned"
"Cut my hands for I have stolen"
"Unclean, I'm unclean"
"Smash my brains my thoughts are rotten"
"Evil, I'm Evil"
"My deeds are worst than the Devil"
"Murdured, I have murdured"
"Drown in the seas of hatred"
"Slept, I have overslept"
"I missed the hour of the praying plan"
"Borned, I'm borned"
"A living blasphemy in this wretched land"

Alone

2005-03-04T20:03:00.000-08:00

Inpiration for poems again? I do not know why.
Maybe I'm just wallowing in self-pity, but I enjoy it anyhow.

I watched Ghost In The Shell again lately, which sets me back
to thinking what is life? What makes me me? Is my soul real?
Is my memories real? Have I been tampered with? Do I even
exist? Or am I just a concept, a thought, by some greater being
so vast I cannot even begin to comprehend?

Well back to my poem. I have changed a bit lately. Been writing
poems of lovey dovey nature. They are dark, but still lovey
dovey.

Alone

Loneliness
I do not know

A whisper in the winds
Your voice?

Sweet melody in a closed heart
A presence
Never once felt

Then gone
As the moonlight
Stolen by the clouds
My shadow lost its home

Loneliness
You taught me so

Rundown?

2005-02-19T08:38:00.000-08:00

These photos have been taken on my photo trip at Pudu and Petaling Street area. I was searching for suitable subjects for "Metamophorsis", the art competition. I was looking for contrasting buildings, between old and new. Apparently, I wasn't good at looking for that, but a couple of photos still turned out presentable.

A picture of contrasting subjects. The car the building and the tree. A strange harmony.

A road at pudu. I just love deep perspectives.

Perspective at pudu again.

Hmm, the driver of this bike must be blind. But then again, can the blind drive? Tsk, Tsk, Tsk.

The only picture I posted that is in colour. The sun and the angles of shadows must be in colour to give this photograph justice.

First online ranting

2005-01-20T01:20:00.000-08:00

I always hated the concept of having a blog. I mean what's the point of telling everyone how have u been getting along lately? And I still stand for that. This blog that I crated is solely for sharing philosophy and artistic exchange. Art is not to be hogged, it should be shared. And here goes for my 1st post. It's a poem I wrote when I was down at the deepest catacombs of Hell. I'm not feeling a lot better now, but at least I don't have the inspiration to write poems.
(P.S. I only have inspiration when I'm feeling very down)

Untitled

Living Dead
At his sleepless wake
Searches
For his soul

Heartless love
Beating an irregular rhythm
Finds
Its own compose

Singing mute
Humming the ninth
Turns
The audience cold

Happy mourner
Praying to the Father
Hoping
For a brand new woe